On the Upside

Thoughts on two challenges connected to a life in Vienna that makes it feel rewarding and worthwhile.

Silja's vocabulary is rapidly expanding these days, and it is mind-blowing to see how she picks up three different languages like the most natural thing in the world. In daycare she says Papa Arbeit, Auto, geh mal and baba (see you) The other day they were playing outside when Bjarni came to pick her up, and one of the teachers said to her: Du musst an die andere Seite gehen Silja - and she turned around and walked the other way to the slide. Bjarni and I are looking at each other and are like: Whoa!  

I have requested a copy of my journal at the hospital where I gave birth. I need it because I had a complicated birth, which has led doctors to suggest a C-section might be better next time. I got the copies a while back, and it's strange to to look through them and, in medical terms and handwriting I can barely make sense of, be reminded about the crazy intense experience a birth is. When I think back I'm quite stunned that I managed that whole thing in a language I only master on an intermediate level. So in addition to the informative purpose the documents serve, they are nice little cue to myself that I gave birth in German! And hey, if I can do that, I can do pretty much anything.

Oversæt til dansk

Please remain calm

I forgot how stressful a move is in its final stages. A month from now I will be in Denmark with Silja - Bjarni will join us there shortly after. But this last month.... Craazy. I think we were slightly overambitious when we planned that we would leave right after I finished my MA studies. As an international student I'm currently running from office to office, filling out bureaucratic paperworks and making sure I'm adhering to deadlines and guidelines and what not. But in between my broken German and secretaries', at times, rusty English, misunderstandings still happen. I submitted my thesis in the beginning of this week, but learned at the same time that I need a grade for the thesis two weeks BEFORE I can register for the final exam. My advisor, who is relatively new to Uni Wien didn't know either. She now has less than a week to read and grade my 100 page paper, if I'm to take the final exam before we leave. This whole mess has now left us trying to postpone the exam to the last minut, one or two days before I leave Viennea. Worst case scenario is that I have to come back to do the final exam over the summer, but man, I hope this works out before we go. I was hoping for a little breather after I had submitted my thesis, but it doesn't feel like it now. I will be studying and packing/organizing right up until we leave.

On a positive note, Silja finally received her US visa, and we decided to ship our belongings straight from Vienna, making that part considerably more easy. What else? We are drinking the expensive wine, because there is no need to save things like that for special occasions. From now on its clearing things out, which has its nice moments to it too.

Phew, I hope to check in sooner than later, but we'll see how it goes.

Oversæt til dansk

Moving Schizophrenia

As we are getting closer to leaving and things slowly fall into place I get into this standard moving schizophrenia mode. I say standard because I know this is a completely normal reaction to a move (of course it's called something else), and I have tried it before, and I know all will work out in the end. It's just a phase...

Nevertheless this is the time - for me at least - of fluctuating between feeling invigorated and optimistic about new beginnings, a fresh start, and new adventures in one moment and sad and nostalgic the next about leaving behind the safe base we have built up here over the last two and half years.

We cannot take all our stuff with us when we move, it's simply just to expensive and honestly a lot of the stuff are not even worth shipping all that way. So, we will bring all our personal belongings, but we will leave behind almost all our furniture. The other day we got an email from the owners of the apartment saying they would like to buy it all: tables, chairs, TV, bed, couch, closets. Everything! Do you know how much trouble that saves us?! It basically means we can just pack everything else up in boxes, scrub the place down and when the time comes,

just get up and leave like were we just going to run to the super market and be back five minutes later. But it also means that we are literary leaving our home behind us. Things we have carefully selected even before we moved in together, and things that for us have a history. So while I can't wait to get a new sofa, because the one we have is totally uncomfortable and I've been dying to replace it for a loong time, it is still the sofa we bought, when we got out first apartment together. To cut the ties to these material things all at once suddenly feels more difficult than anticipated, although I know that a lot would slowly be replaced if we were to stay put. Now it's like ripping of a band-aid all at once -- rhiiipp -- and then plunge into a whole new start - along with a crib and boxes full of clothes, and books, and toys and all that other moveable stuff that lucky also has a history and significance for us.

Oversæt til dansk

Colors

Today is a good day. I finished my oral exam (which involuntarily got postponed by a week), and can now focus on getting this thesis done. A splash of color to celebrate. These days I'm drinking a lot of coffee with the nicest, most interesting expats and listen to their stories of living in Vienna. It gives me a lot reflect upon in terms of our own current and future situation.

Oversæt til dansk

Cheers to New Adventures!

We have made up our minds, and are moving to Boston early next year! It was not an easy decision, but it feels so good now that it's settled. Uncertainty about where we would go to after Vienna has been a stress factor for about a year, giving way to questions like: where do we want to go, what are our individual goals and what are our family plans? And in the end it completely depended on where it was possible for us to (read: where Bjarni would get job offers). We were privileged to have several choices, which was great, but also difficult, as they had different advantages.

Finally we figured Harvard and Boston was an irresistible opportunity, and now we are excited for all that awaits. Hopefully our time in California will have a positive influence on our expectations and adjustment. I'm excited about all the stuff I miss from the US, and which I never expected I would return to.

This move should also be our second last. I know this might seem early to talk about at this point, but thinking further ahead has been part of the whole deciding process we have been through. While I admire those who can keep moving around, I know I am not capable of that in the long run, and it is not what I wish for my family. I need to settle down and be like "normal people". I still feel the US is too far from everyone dear to me back in Denmark to be the place we settle for good. Having said that I embrace this new adventure completely, and am excited to spend two years on the American East Coast.

Our big decision called for a proper celebration, which we did in the beginning of the week. Silja toasted in smoothie being utterly unaware of the changes that are going to happen and that she will end up talking like an Amerrricaan.

Oversæt til dansk

Breakfast Treat

Pancakes for breakfast because its the last day of our little holiday, and because next week is back to normal. Sort of. Bjarni is heading to Germany and Boston for job interviews, and we have a granddad arriving from Denmark. All very exciting. Hopefully the upcoming travels will bring some much needed clarity on what will happen next for us. I find this in-between stage of being open to a range of potential possibilities incredibly stressful as the process drags out, and I can't wait to put uncertainty aside and start planning for what's next.

Oversæt til dansk

International Matters

Yesterday on the way home from Kinderstube a shop owner came out the door of his shop, stopped us and handed me this little ball for no apparent reason. I asked why, but he just smiled and went inside again. That was very sweet. And it's not just any little ball -- it's a little globe. Weeh!!

Anyhow, I wanted to mention the Expat Center here in Vienna. I don't know who follows this blog, but I do know a few stop by via Expat Blog. I had a meeting with them today, because of my thesis, and they were so friendly. They provide free consultancy to expats or expats-to-be on all sorts of practicalities related to moving to and living in Vienna. I should perhaps also say that their definition of expat is very loose, so international students, foreigners who themselves move to Vienna because of a job, foreigners who have lived in Vienna for years and years, spouses etc. They all fit the category. -- So, just a reference if needed.

Oversæt til dansk

Visiting Home

Denmark this time around was lots of strawberries, sweet cousins, old friends, dinner dates, summer rain, colorful art, salty licorice and a job interview; the last one resulting in much reflection about living in Denmark. Having lived away from home the past five years, going back on a visit like this one is a strange mix of feelings of fitting right in and feeling strangely out of place. I suppose it is unavoidable when developing ties to more than one place, combined with being out of the daily loop of one specific place in terms of all those big and small changes that are continually taking place. Nevertheless fingers crossed that things in Aarhus pan out...

Oversæt til dansk

This Little Head

This week our little girl started day care, which seems to be going quite OK so far. (I think it's harder on the mama.. But that's better than the other way around, right?) With the beginning of day care a third language is introduced to this little head: Our common language here at home is Danish, Bjarni speaks to her in Icelandic, and now German in Kindergarten. She is still so small that multiple languages don't really matter, and I know through friends and acquaintances that children are very much capable of being not only bilingual but also multilingual (those small brains are sponges!), but still I couldn't help feeling a glimpse of guilt the first day, when she was sitting in a circle with all the other small kids, and the teachers were singing songs I didn't get a clue of, which made me think about all the new things she will be taught there in German. Now, I am aware of all the benefits that comes with growing up with several languages and I'm excited of our embarkment on this "thing" of being a bilingual family. Whether or not there will be a third language in the long run, I don't know at this point. So even if it shouldn't be a matter of concern right now when she is so young, or if the benefits outweigh the guilt and concern, then I suppose worry is a natural element of parenthood. And perhaps this is a common one, when living abroad?

Oversæt til dansk

Propaganda

Bjarni has for a while tried to convince me to be open to the possibility of moving back to the US/California after we are done in Vienna. He has lots of convincing arguments lined up, but I still stand firm on my wish to stay somewhere in Europe. Now, somehow, the weather forecast of Los Angeles has been added to my phone. And while I must admit that such a weather forecast looks incredibly tempting on a day, where it is snowing - again (#%$&!!), I still prefer central Europe over California.

(By the way - in case anybody is reading from the US - my choice of Europe over the US is solely connected to me wanting to live in proximity to my family back home. That's the super short argument to a rather complex discussion of ours trying to figure out where to live in the long run. Ayy.. If only one could have the best of both worlds...)

Oversæt til dansk